Toilet paper is a tissue paper product primarily used by both human males and human females for wiping and cleaning the anus and surrounding area of fecal material after defecation and by human females for cleaning the perineal area of urine after urination and other bodily fluid releases. It also acts as a layer of protection for the hands during these processes. It is sold as a long strip of perforated paper wrapped around a paperboard core for storage in a dispenser by a toilet. Most modern toilet paper in the developed world is designed to decompose in septic tanks, whereas some other bathroom and facial tissues are not. Toilet paper comes in one-ply all the way up to six-ply, meaning that it is either a single sheet or multiple sheets placed back-to-back to make it thicker, softer, stronger and more absorbent.

The use of paper for hygiene purposes has been recorded in China in the 6th century AD, with specifically manufactured toilet paper being mass-produced in the 14th century. Modern commercial toilet paper originated in the 19th century, with a patent for roll-based dispensers being made in 1883.

Different names, euphemisms and slang terms are used for toilet paper in countries around the world, including "bumf," "bum wad," "loo roll/paper," "bog roll," "toilet roll," "bath tissue," "dunny roll/paper," "bathroom/toilet tissue," "TP," "arsewipe," "shit tickets" (used informally by soldiers of the United States Army), and also simply "tissue."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_paper

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"As a professor of science, I assure you we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey-men."
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